A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. "Do you watch much television here?"
"Only the daytime shows," the inmate said. "At night we're locked in our cells and don't see any television."
"That's too bad," the reporter said. "But I do think it's nice that the warden lets you watch it in the daytime."
"What do you mean, nice?" the inmate said. "That's part of the punishment."
Doctor: What did you dream about last night?
Patient: Baseball.
Doctor: Don’t you dream about anything else?
Patient: What, and miss my turn at bat?
A sailor didn't like anything he saw in the mess/food line, so he just picked up a large piece of chocolate cake. The cook asked, "Is that all you're gonna eat?"
The sailor said, "Yeah, the rest of it doesn't look too appetizing."
The cook smiled and said, "Well, in that case would you like two pieces of cake?"
The sailor said, "Yeah, man, I'd appreciate it!"
The cook leaned over and cut the sailor's piece of cake in half.
Teacher: Well, Little Johnny, I see some improvement in your work. There are only three words that have been misspelled.
Little Johnny: Thank you.
Teacher: Now let’s look at the second sentence!