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Favorite this joke A mother wanted to teach her daughter a moral lesson. She gave the girl a quarter and a dollar for church. "Put whichever one you want in the collection plate and keep the other for yourself," she told the girl.
Sunday, when they were coming out of the church, the mother asked her daughter which amount she had given.
"Well," said the little girl, "I was going to give the dollar, but just before the collection the preacher said that God loves a cheerful giver. I knew I'd be a lot more cheerful if I gave the quarter, so that's what I did."
A speaker had a business engagement in a small town a few hours away. The train on which he was traveling was far from fast, and he took every opportunity to keep the conductor informed as to his opinion of the pace.
Finally, frustrated, the conductor blurted out, “If you don’t like it, get out and walk!”
“I would,” the man replied, “but the committee doesn’t expect me until this train gets in.”
I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe.
I don't care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe!
Although we were being married in New Hampshire, I wanted to add a touch of my home state, Kansas, to the wedding.
My fiancee, explaining this to a friend, said that we were planning to have wheat rather than rice thrown after the ceremony.
Our friend thought for a moment. Then he said solemnly, "It's a good thing she's not from Idaho."
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