A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
The barman refuses to serve him.
"Why not?" asks the golf club.
"You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.
A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands.
He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.
The reply came back shortly: "Begin vacation as of yesterday."
Little Johnny's family had guests for dinner.
The dessert was apple pie. Mom cut the pieces and Little Johnny carried them to the table.
He gave the first piece to Dad, who passed it to a guest.
Little Johnny came in with the second piece and gave it to Dad, who again gave it to a guest.
This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."
What did the Sun say to the Moon?
"Whether or not you think you're hot, you're not!"