A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space.
Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign.
"Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?" yelled an irate man.
She rolled down her window and yelled back, "What makes you think these are all mine?"
Teacher: Little Johnny, why is the wall in China referred to as the "Great Wall?"
Little Johnny: Because the word "Swell" just didn't quite do it.
I was reading an article last night about fathers and daughters and memories came flooding back of the time I took my daughter out for her first pint.
Off we went to our local pub which is only two blocks from the house.
I got her a Fosters. She didn't like it... so I had it.
Then I got her a Carling Black Label, she didn't like it... so I had it.
It was the same with the 1664 Lager and Premium Dry Cider.
By the time we got down to the Scotch I could hardly push the stroller back home.