Waiter: I see your glass is empty, would you like another one?
My Dad: Why would I want two empty glasses?
I went by the house I grew up in and asked if I could go in and look around.
They said no and slammed the door in my face!
Parents can be real jerks.
When I was younger, my dad found out I had an imaginary girlfriend.
He said, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks dad, that means a lot," I replied.
He said, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
A reporter covering the Iowa State Legislature proceedings wore light summer shoes on a day when it snowed.
The following day, a pleasant dry one, he wore overshoes. A legislator asked him about it.
“It’s the effect of being around government,” he replied. “I am now prepared for yesterday.”