Latest Jokes

A boy always asks for 50 cents from his mother. So his mother questioned the boy on why he kept asking for 50 cents. The boy replied that his friend told him that if you eat 50 cents worth of peanuts a day you would become smarter. Quickly his mother gave him $5. The boy asks “Why $5”, and the mother replied, “Buy 50 cents of peanut for yourself and buy peanuts for your father with the balance.” 

A horse walked into a bar. The barman says, "Why the long face?"

Three men walked in to a bar. You think one of them would have seen it!

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.” The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.” “Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle. “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.” She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said “How well can you do?” “Ummmm...I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever. “My, my,” said the Poodle. “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.” She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?” The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says... 
“Liver alone. Cheese mine.”