Three hunters were walking in the woods one night when they came across a set of tracks.
"Those are bear tracks." The first hunter said.
"Those are deer tracks." The second hunter said.
"No, they're fox tracks. The third hunter argued.
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Q: Why did the fungi leave the party?
A: There wasn't mushroom.
This guy who is down and out on his luck finally gets a job at a funeral parlor, The boss tells him he will receive huge incentives if he digs out and bring back all the expensive coffins after every burial they conduct, He does very well at this until he's stopped one evening at a roadblock with a coffin full of mud. The officer asks him where is he going with this coffin and calls for backup.
The guy responds calmly, "Officer, I don't like the place they buried me, so I'm moving elsewhere."
My ex-wife goes bowling with the money I send her each month.
I guess that's why they call it alley money.