Latest Jokes

A dog is so smart that his master decides to send him to college.

Home for vacation, his master asks him how college is going.

"Well," says the dog, "I'm not doing too great in science and math, but I have made a lot of progress in foreign languages."

"Really?" says the master. "Say something in a foreign language."

The dog says, "Meow!"

When Jesus went to the bathroom for the first time as a baby, that was the first time someone said the phrase: “Holy Crap!”

The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At the Baptist Church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The Elders met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Episcopal Church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide

But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish Synagogue, but it's rumored that they took one squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel on their property since.

Little Kelvin's darkest day was when he was asked by his mathematics teacher to solve a problem on the board. The question was asking for the answer to 2+3.

He knew he couldn't solve that so he glanced towards his bright friend for help. His friend willing to help but fearing to speak out loud, showed him his palm as a silent indication to the answer.

So little Kelvin drew the palm.