Latest Jokes

My neighbor introduced his wife to me by calling her his, "better half."

I returned the courtesy by introducing my wife as, "the lesser of two evils."

Mr. Jones was sleeping soundly and was awakened by the phone ringing at 2am. He answered and the voice on the other end said, "This is your neighbor, Mr. Smith. Your dog's barking is keeping me awake, keep it quiet!"

Then he hung up. At 3 o'clock, Mr. Jones called back Mr. Smith and said, "I don't have a dog." and he hung up.

A man had trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept saying chickens were noble creatures, and they had the right to go where they wanted. The man had no luck keeping the chickens out of his flower beds. He tried everything.

Two weeks later, a visiting friend noticed the flower beds were doing great! They were blooming and beautiful. So the friend asked, "How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?"

"One night I hid half a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. I wasn't bothered after that."