Why did the ballplayer bring a rope to the game?
He wanted to tie the score.
A flea jumped into a restaurant, nibbled on a pizza and jumped out again.
He picked himself up from the dirt, dusted himself down and said, "OK, who moved my dog?"
Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank still don't know how to swipe their card through the ATM card reader. Because of this, my fellow tellers and I often find ourselves having to explain how it's done.
One teller complained that she kept getting odd looks every time she explained it. I found out why when I overheard her tell one man, "Strip down, facing me."
How do you feel if you see a sheepdog with a melon?
"Melon-collie."