Latest Jokes

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.

Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.

He opened his own offices with a sign on the door saying:

"Dr Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy - Either way, you get your dog back."

The journey of a thousand miles...

Begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.

Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.

Do not walk beside me either...

Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state university. They decided to run a study, hired a few additional sociologists and other specialists, moved to town, rented offices and began designing their questionnaires and such.

While the staff was busy getting ready for their big research effort, the project director decided to go to the local diner. He sat down at the counter, ordered his coffee, and told the waitress what his purpose was in town. He then asked her if she had any idea why the birth rate was so high.

"Sure," said the waitress. "Every morning the six o'clock train comes through here and sounds its horn. It wakes everybody up, and, well, it's too late to go back to sleep, and it's too early to get up."