Little Jenny: Hi Mommy, where is Daddy?
Mother: He's lying on the couch and has been watching baseball all day. Why do you ask?
Little Jenny: I wanted to tell him what we learned in school today.
Mother: Oh yeah sweetie, and what was that?
Little Jenny: Well, the teacher taught us that the human body has 270 bones at birth and 206 by adulthood.
Mother: Wow Jenny! I did not know that, but I'm afraid that your teacher is incorrect when it comes to your Father though.
Little Jenny: Really Mommy, why is that?
Mother: Because he has an extra one, for a total of 207. It's named the Lazy-bone.
My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god...
I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.
I'm really busy next week, I have two back to back appointments with my chiropractor on Wednesday...
I fired him once, but I took him back!
Two guys are at a bar, drunk and talking nonsense.
MAN 1: I am planning on buying the world.
MAN 2: That is crazy and makes no sense what-so-ever, you can't buy the world.
MAN 1: Why not?
MAN 2: Because, I am not going to sell it to you.