I use an extra sensitive toothpaste...
It doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes.
Milly and Molly are waiting at the railroad station, watching a train come in.
"Here she comes!" Milly exclaims.
Molly then replies, "Actually, you mean 'Here he comes.' It's a mail train."
What did the dyslexic worm say to the voracious largemouth bass???
“Oh carp!”
I struck a deal with my local gym.
They wanted $24 a month if I show up, but only $12 a month if I don't show up.
That's 50% off!