A co-worker asked me, “Could you be any more annoying?”
So the next day I wore tap shoes to work.
Every time a little boy went to a playmate’s house, he found the friend’s grandmother deeply engrossed in her Bible. Finally his curiosity got the better of him.
“Why do you suppose your grandmother reads the Bible so much?” he asked.
“I’m not sure,” said his friend, “but I think she’s cramming for finals.”
Just as I arrived home after working the night shift, my wife told me to go checkout our five-year-old son's bed. When I entered Jimmie's room, I saw that his bed had collapsed and the mattress was sitting on the floor.
"What happened?" I asked him.
He responded, "God did it."
Interesting, I thought, and went back to tell my wife. Laughing she said that when she had heard the crash, she ran into Jimmie's room, saying, "Oh God, what have you done now?"
Teacher: "Missouri is the 'Show ME' state, Florida is the 'Sunshine State'. Does any one know the motto of Washington D.C.?"
Teacher: "No one? Does anyone wish to venture a guess?"
5th grade student: "Is it the 'Plausible Deniability' state?"