Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.
The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say... Look, he's Moving!"
Three men are in the middle of a desert when their car breaks down. For their hike to town, they each decide to take one thing with them.
One man takes a jug of water. The second man takes a sandwich. The last man takes one of the car doors.
The first man says to the last man: "I'm bringing the water because if I get thirsty, I can take a drink. And it makes sense to bring a sandwich in case we get hungry, but why bring a car door?"
The last man replies, "If I get hot, I can just roll down the window."
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
...
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory.